Question The Mind

Saying Goodbye on Jan. 25th

Several years ago my favorite lip gloss color was called Black Honey...

It was a great color and it looked good on almost everyone who tried it on - so I know I wasn't the only person who liked it...

But then, out of the blue, the company discontinued it!

I thought to myself, "If only I had know that it was going to be discontinued - I could have bought extra and stocked up..."

Has that ever happened to you with a product that you loved?

Well, to keep you fully informed, here's some advance notice about something we're going to be discontinuing...

Saying Goodbye on Jan. 25th...

On Friday, Jan. 25th, we're taking one of our popular audio programs off the shelf while we update and revise it.

That means you only have 3 more days to order this audio before it's gone...

The audio program we'll be discontinuing is...

The relationship between humans and animals.

Animal rights, pet stores, carnivores, vegetarians, vegans, fur protesting...

What stories come up as you watch this online movie? Which ones are stressful?

http://veg-tv.info/Earthlings

Get your pencils and papers ready to capture the beliefs, judgments, and assumptions.
Then come back here and share some of the beliefs you noticed. Let's discuss the movie. (I watched it also.)

Finding Forgiveness - What do you want to know?

What's your biggest question about finding forgiveness?

Share your thoughts here:

http://www.questionthemind.com/forgiveness

Responsible = To Blame?

The hurricanes are responsible for thousands of deaths. vs. The hurricanes are to blame for thousands of deaths.

The mother is responsible for how her children behave. vs. The mother is to blame for how her children behave.

She is responsible for what happens in her life. vs. She's to blame for what happens in her life.

What do you think? Does responsibility equal blame? Is there a difference?

Asking for What You Want - Do You Do It?

This morning I went to get a mani/pedi at my favorite nail salon down the street. I brought my own polish "Belize it or Not." My new step-sister Kristin gave it to me a couple of months ago as part of a get well package when I was in the hospital. Isn't it a great color?

Well, while the nail tech was painting my finger nails, I was flipping through People magazine and my pinky finger hit the edge of the magazine. A little of the wet paint got smudged. GASP!

Now it may seem like a no-brainer to you that I would bring that to the nail tech's attention so that she could repaint the nail, but it wasn't always that way for me.

I used to be scared to ask a nail tech for what I wanted. And sometimes I would leave a salon with a manicure that I didn't really like because I was too afraid to ask for what I wanted.

I was too afraid to let them know that one of the nails was still too long, or that I didn't like the way one was shaped, or that there was nail polish on my cuticle, or that something got smudged while I was letting them dry...

I often felt like a victim in these situations. As if because they were the professionals, I just had to take what they gave me.

But somewhere along the line (and inquiry was definitely involved in this) I started finding my voice when I was getting my nails done.

Now I have no problem asking for what I want when I'm getting a manicure and/or pedicure. In fact, today, not only did I ask her to repaint the pinky nail that got smudged on the corner of People magazine, but I also asked her to close the front door because the wind was coming in and I was cold.

So how about you? When you're getting a service from a professional, do you ask for what you want? Whether it's a manicure, getting a sink installed, having some yard work done, or you're paying for some other service...what beliefs stop you from asking for what you want?

Dealing with Disappointment

Imagine that you were really looking forward to getting together with a loved one and then at the last minute they don't show up.

You're bummed because you were looking forward to the connection, fun, and intimacy and now it's not happening. And not only are you bummed, but you're sad and disappointed too. You really wanted to have a fun evening with this person and now the plans have changed.

So what do you do now?

If you're like many people who are interested in self-help, you may try to talk yourself out of being disappointed by trying to show yourself how you've been spared by not having it go the way you wanted it to go. Or by trying to find ways that it's for the best that your friend didn't show up.

Those are great exercises to engage in - if and when you're available for it.

But sometimes when you're disappointed and upset, you don't have the space for that kind of exploration. It just doesn't seem like you can "go there."

So instead of trying to make yourself get over the upset and see through it by being wise and spiritual, can you acknowledge that you're upset and hurt? Can you be with yourself while those emotions are coming up?

You're supposed to see how this is for the best. Is that true?  (Nope. It's not true if you're so upset that you can't see it right now.)

You're not supposed to get upset when things don't go your way. Is THAT true? (Again, not true if the reality is that you *are* upset.)

Sometimes what's true is that you're upset. That's reality.

So instead of arguing with reality, how about opening your arms to yourself and loving yourself as you show up in the moment? Disappointment, tears, sadness, and all?

Who would you be without the story that you shouldn't feel the way that you do?

How Do You Treat Fear?

Do you see FEAR as a bad four-letter word? Maybe you see it as something to avoid, or something to get rid of. But what if you were to have a different relationship with Fear?

What if you were to open your arms to it and maybe even thank it for being in your life?

In Debbie Ford's recent newsletter, she shared these ideas for thanking fear:

• Love the fears that you hold in your hand more than anything you have ever loved before.
  
  
• Think about all the hours you have spent trying to deny, avoid, and get rid of these fears, and thank them for always bringing you into the presence of the limited human mind.
  
  
• Thank them for sending you out to look for ways to get rid of them. Think of all you've discovered during your search!
  
  
• Thank them for making you look at your life.
  
  
  
• Thank them for this community, for your fears are probably what got you here...reading this right now.
  
  
• Thank your fears for reminding you that you have a small child inside that is in desperate need of your love and attention.
  
  
• Thank your soul for dispensing these fears to you, to help you find your way back home to God - the energy of pure love, the energy that trumps fear.
  
  
• Love your fears like you have loved no other part of you - bless them, honor them, and use them as the holy reminders that they are...reminding you always to come home to your whole self.

(Thanks for that great list Debbie!)

What would change in your life if you were to try one of these suggestions? If you were to relate to fear with love and gratitude instead of rejection?

And what other ways might you thank your fears? Share your ideas and experiences in the Comments section below...

Birthday Stories Galore

Next Friday, November 23rd is my birthday. It kind of snuck up on me this year with all the health adventures I've been through in recent months. And now that it's here I thought it'd be fun to celebrate it with you through some storytelling. Because really, what else is there except our story about things that have happened, right?

So what birthday story of yours is ready to be revisited? Your story can be happy, sad, frustrating, lonely, even boring. It could be about your best birthday or your worst birthday. It can be long or short...so long as it's a story about one of your birthdays. (Use the comments section to share it here on the blog.)

Here's one of my birthday stories...

Is it Wrong To Seek Love, Approval, & Appreciation?

Question: I was doing inquiry on this belief: "It's bad to seek love, approval, and appreciation (LAA)." What are your thoughts on this?

Response: When it comes to good/bad  and right/wrong, one thing I like to ask myself is, "Is it possible?" In other words, is it possible to seek LAA? Is it possible to want LAA?

The answer I come up with is YES. Those things do happen. It is possible to want and seek LAA. And because it's possible to do that in reality, then it can't be wrong or bad.

Things that aren't possible...like putting a square peg in a round hole, that's something that can't happen in reality. So it is wrong. It's wrong for that shape to go into the other shape. I know this because it can't be done. It's not meant to happen in this universe.

And pigs...they don't fly. They don't have wings. That must be wrong in this universe. What's RIGHT is that they don't fly. I know this because they don't fly on their own.

So things that are possible (and that includes all things that humans are capable of as a species) they're good and right. It's what is meant to happen here when it does.

Humans want LAA sometimes. That's what is. It's right. It's good. It's how things happen here sometimes.

And humans also don't want LAA sometimes. That's right and that's good when it happens.

All possibilities are right and good - simply because they are possible.

---->Your Turn. What thoughts come up as you read this post? Share them in the Comments section below and don't forget to enter the code after you submit the comment.

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Missing Out On Amazement? Watch Your Shoulds.

Consider these "should" statements:

• They should help me with chores around the house.
• My body should not get sick.
• He should apologize.
• I need her to call me back.
• My boss should give me more responsibility.

When you believe thoughts like these, not only can it be a stressful experience, (because things don't always go the way you want them to) but it can also rob you of the opportunity to be wowed and amazed.

Let's take a closer look at one of the examples so I can show you what I mean...